Greatest Criminal Plan, Ever. The “Booby Trap”.

November 29, 2008

Police in Uganda have reported a gang of robbers have been using women to lure men into a dangerous trap. Instead of using the common route of mixing drugs into a drink, the women are now covering their breasts with chloroform. The men, unable to resist the urge to snuggle their big heads into a woman’s bosom, are quickly knocked out, dragged away, and stripped completely. Ingenious, eh?

Now before you say, “I would never fall for such a scam”, consider the photo that the AFP used to bring this story some credibility:

booby-trap

That’s right, every guy reading this would be on the ground within 30 seconds. 

Apparently, other types of drugs can also be used. What we know is that, regardless of the risk or aroma, men will happily put their face in any woman’s cleavage…following boobs like pigs to the trough. Even in Uganda, where they know the risk is to be robbed of everything you have, including your drawers, they keep falling for it.

So, to all of my pimp friends out there, I am not encouraging you to do this but it seems like a really good way to make some extra money. It is unclear why the girls don’t succumb to the chloroform but I am sure you can figure that out after running a few tests.

So ladies, the next time your man tells you he was “knocked out” by a woman’s breasts, he may just be telling you the truth.

P.S. Before any of you woman can say it, let me do it for you. ”Those are fake!!!” There, feel better?


Trying To Make Sense Of The Mubai Massacre

November 29, 2008

It seems we have reached the end of one of the longest terrorist sieges in recent history. Unlike the typical terrorist attacks we have become accustomed to, primarily suicide bombers, here were several smaller groups with the instructions to keep killing until they were killed. As is often the case in these attacks, the killings seemed to be indiscriminate although there obviously was a clear effort to target certain groups. When it was over, however, Indian nationals clearly took the brunt of the assault.

So what was the point? Who was behind the massacre and what did they hope to accomplish? One of the first things they accomplished, whether intentional or not, was the immediate finger pointing by the government of India towards Pakistan of implicit involvement. This is not terribly surprising but somewhat disappointing. If this was the intent of the terrorists, further escalation of tension between India and Pakistan, mission accomplished.

But what if it wasn’t? A gunman in Mumbai’s Oberoi Trident hotel said this, “We love this as our country but when our mothers and sisters were being killed, where was everybody?” He was speaking about the persecution of Muslims in India. Muslims make up a little over 13% of the population while Hindu’s make up about 80%. The most obvious example of this persecution came to pass in 2002 when Hindu nationalists started anti-Muslim riots in the state of Gujarat. Some 2000 Muslims were killed. There were virtually no convictions.

As is the case for minorities in many countries, Indian Muslims tend to live poorer, shorter, and unhealthier lives than their Hindu counterparts. It does not help that Muslim dominated Kashmir is not recognized as independent and has been the source of 3 wars between India and Pakistan. Was this why a Jewish center was attacked? To draw a parallel between the Palestinian grievance with Israel and gain sympathy from a wider audience?

In the end, as is so often the case in history, the people that are repressed and “left for dead” in so many ways, rise up in violence and anger. Is it right? Of course not. But when you live in absolute squallier and are treated as something less than a human being, why would it be at all surprising that this is the result? I am not suggesting acquiescing to terrorist activity. However, to meet their force with larger force is simply no answer. There must be an understanding that, regardless of religious or political beliefs, human beings must be treated with dignity. I am not sure that is too much to ask. 

If it was me, and it is not, I would continue to work on the relationship between India and Pakistan. I think the most obvious starting point is Kashmir. It seems to me that the Indian government should strongly consider redefining their border and allowing Pakistan to absorb much of it. (Obviously, China would be allowed to continue to control the Aksai Chin region).

In return for Kashmir, Pakistan would allow Indian and US forces unfettered access to the mountains adjacent to Afghanistan to attack al-Qaida and Taliban strongholds. This would help diffuse the mistrust between the Pakistani and Indian governments and not allow terrorists the ability to exacerbate these long held feelings.

Finally, India must address the situation with the Muslim community. Possibly through investment in infrastructure and political input IN SPITE of previous Muslim associated attacks on Hindus. What is clear is that treating Muslims as an afterthought can, and has, had dire consequences. Addressing this critical issue internally will go a long way in stopping outside forces from manipulating the Muslim community.

As is often the case, the vast majority of people caught up in this internal war are innocent. They are just decent people trying to carve out a better life for their families. It is up to the respective governments to meet the needs of their people rather than pursue some archaic prejudices that stop them from behaving in a humane and civilized way.