November 24, 2008
Normally, when anyone from the Church of Scientology is accused of something strange, I am willing to lay good odds that the story is at least partially true. After all, L Ron Hubbard does not strike me as the most balanced person that ever started a church. So, when I heard the story about a guy getting shot for waving around samurai swords, it seemed like that there was something more to the story.
Well, after seeing this photo on the TMZ website, I am going to say I would have shot the got too…probably several times.
Now, normally when I see a guy with a tattoo of a talking hand on one side of his neck and flowers (or maybe a dragon) on the other, I think immediately Hare Krishna. Not to mention that the guy, Mario Majorski, definitely has the right haircut. From what I know, the Krishna’s are a fairly passive group.
However, when you look like an extra from a “B” grade sci-fi movie AND are swinging around two swords, well, there is little choice at that point but to shoot you. As it turns out, Mario might have had some trouble with the law in the past. Not to stereotype but after looking at this photo, I would have made that bet as well.
Hmm…seems I remember another famous Samurai warrior that attends the Church of Scientology.
My guess is that Mario challenged Tom to a fight on a sofa at the Celebrity Centre (I suppose they thought “Center” would just be too low brow for them) and Tom wussied out. Although, I must say that I would have probably done the same thing. I suspect Mario would have used “gang rules” samurai fighting which, obviously, Tom would not have been prepared for. Totally unfair.
Anyway, I just wanted to commend John Travolta and his team of aliens for getting it right for once. Whatever ship L Ron is flying around in space on at the moment, I am sure he is proud.
Peace, my alien brothers.
Leave a Comment » | 
Uncategorized | Tagged: Celebrity Centre, Church of Scientology, Hare Krishna, Humor, John Travolta, L Ron Hubbard, Mario Majorski, news, religion, samurai sword, Scientologists, Tom Cruise, Wendi Berndt | 
Permalink
Posted by tannerleah
November 24, 2008
Of all of the washed up, has been’s, why bring her back? Was Danny Bonaduce or “The Hoff” not available? And of all of the possible formats to choose, a variety show? Really? Doesn’t that mean that the star of the show has to have some sort of tangible talent? Christ, at least Donnie and Marie could sing a little. (Plus Marie was quite the looker).
What is it exactly that Rosie is going to do? She has already used the “I am hot for Tom Cruise” hiding in the closet routine. Not to mention completely back stabbing the incomparable Tom Selleck. Sure, it all makes sense now that we know that she hates all men but who cares? She has no shtick.
You might as well give that cackling hag from So You Think You Can Dance the gig. Believe me, listening to Rosie sing will be equally painful. What’s that you say? Don’t watch the show? Obviously, that goes without saying. But what about all of the unsupervised kids out there? They might be unwittingly exposed to this horror show and be scarred for life…kind of like Squirrel.
I can’t believe things are so bad at NBC that they actually came up with this idea. Oh wait, yes I can. These are the same idiots that brought back Knight Rider. Now it is all starting to make perfect sense. If Gabe Kaplan were still alive, God rest his soul, we would be seeing the all new adventures of “Welcome Back Kotter” any day now.
I am going to go on record as saying this show lasts 2 to 3 weeks, max. Even if every Sam Ronson fan in America tunes in religiously, there will just not be enough viewers. Plus, it’s Rosie freakin O’Donnell! Eww…I just threw up a little in my mouth. But I had Wendy’s for lunch so it wasn’t completely terrible.
The only good news is that The Gary Coleman “Little People” Variety Show is the back up if Rosie should fail. Todd Bridges will guest star and show everyone how to make homemade bombs. Plus, Vern Troyer will get sh**faced and try to get his game on with Natalie from The Facts of Life. Mmm…Natalie was smoking!
OMG! She is even hotter today! Who knew? Excuse me, I have to leave now. Where the hell did I put my Kleenex…
10 Comments | 
Uncategorized | Tagged: Danny Bonaduce, Donnie and Marie, Facts of Life, Gabe Kaplan, Gary Coleman, Humor, Knight Rider, Mary Murphy, Mindy Cohn, Natalie, NBC, news, Rosie O' Donnell, Samantha Ronson, So You Think You Can Dance, SYTYCD, The Hoff, Tom Cruise, Tom Selleck, tv, Welcome Back Kotter | 
Permalink
Posted by tannerleah
November 24, 2008
As has been pointed out many times, Sarah spends most of her “non governing” time killing animals. This is not really a big deal since it would seem that Alaska is simply overrun with a variety of critters.
Even when Sarah has to do some sort of “token” animal loving ceremony, she is still able to send a not so subtle message about how she feels about animals. Recently, she did the “pardon” a turkey thing, which I guess most governors do. Seems like a stupid ceremony but that is not the issue.
If you have seen the video, it is interesting to watch Sarah recoil at the thought of even touching the turkey. She did so because, bless her heart, she is a maverick. However, you could easily see the rage building in her eyes. Shortly after the pardon, she continued the live interview outside to talk about the experience. Here is a snapshot of the event. (The video is easily found on YouTube).
The first thing that struck me about this photo is that it looks like she is drinking Starbucks coffee. Since when did hockey moms start buying big shot, Hollywood coffee? Wasilla to Sarah…let’s dial it down a little, honey.
The next thing you will notice is the creepy guy in the background and the turkey upside down in some sort of ”Saw 5″ turkey killing grinder. Is this how turkeys are really killed? Shoved upside down and then having their heads ground into pulp? Don’t they have electricity in Alaska? And where the hell is PETA on this one? I am pretty sure the appropriate way to kill a turkey is to tie them together, two at a time by their tail feathers, then throw them over a clotheslines. They then fight to the death. (Or maybe I am thinking of kitties?)
Anyway, while Sarah is moving her luscious lips and saying a bunch of words that end with an apostrophe, the Hannibal Lecter of turkey farms grinds up 2 or 3 turkeys…all the while looking back at the camera and smiling. Do you think that Sarah didn’t realize what was happening here? Of course she did! She was sending a message loud and clear to turkeys all over the world, “Fu** with me, and I will grind your head to a stump”. She even makes Dick Cheney nervous.
I would also like to point out that, even in the midst of the massacre, Sarah still looks smoking hot. She may not be the new VPILF, but she will still rule the world…someday. I can’t wait!
12 Comments | 
Uncategorized | Tagged: PETA, sarah kills turkey, Sarah Palin, sarah pardons turkey, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving pardon, Triple D Farm & Hatchery, turkey grinder, turkey snuff video, VPILF, Wasilla | 
Permalink
Posted by tannerleah
